Thursday, February 14, 2013

Where My Demons Hide, Ch. 4 "Courage"


My dear friend singerme wrote most of this chapter as a standalone ficlet, and it fit so perfectly into this story that I asked to borrow it with a few revisions.  She graciously gave my story the perfect ending.

ljsmljsmljsmlj

Doc shuffles over to the bedside and checks the pulse of his patient. Still a bit thready, but thank heaven, at least it is still there. For a while, he had been afraid he wouldn’t find a pulse the next time he checked.  He’d been very worried that he’d lose Kitty after all she’d come through. 

After Matt had gone to hunt down Jude Bonner, Kitty had rapidly developed a severe infection due to the terrible abuse she’d taken from the dog soldiers.  When the lawman had arrived at Doc’s door, hat in hand, eyes tortured and searching anxiously for Kitty, Doc had hated to tell him that she was so very sick now. 

Doc had done everything he could.  All they could do was wait.  Maybe pray a little.  Matt had brushed him aside and planted his large body in that uncomfortable chair by Kitty’s bed and barely stirred for several days now.  Several days of watching and waiting.  And praying.

Doc glances over at the chair beside the bed and notices that its leggy, rumpled occupant is awake. Apparently he has been for some time.  "Didn't know you were conscious," Doc says quietly, checking his patient’s temperature which is still dangerously high.  He wipes her perspiring face and neck with a cool, damp cloth then tenderly brushes her hair off her forehead.

"Yeah," Matt murmurs, looking at the small, fevered figure in the big bed. "I've been sitting here thinking.”

"Thinking?" Doc sagely looks over at him.

"I was thinking about what my life would've been like if she hadn't come into it.  How different I would've been."

Doc gives a quick swipe of his mustache but keeps quiet, letting the big man talk, knowing it is rare that he opens up to anyone save Kitty.

"You know," Matt continues, "from the moment I first saw her, I knew there was something special about that little red-headed tornado. Not just her looks, or her intelligence or even her temper but something extra...”  His voice catches, and he threads his fingers through his hair.  “Something I'd never encountered in a woman before."

He swallows hard as reaches over and takes her hand in his, softly rubbing the back of it over and again. "She has courage, Doc. You know that? A courage I've never seen in another woman and in very few men. She's faced things that would’ve killed most people and won the battle every time."

Kitty softly moans and Matt stops, anxiously scanning her face for any sign of consciousness. There is none. Doc steps back over to the bedside but moves no closer. He can tell she is still senseless to the world around her.

After a few moments Matt settles his weary frame into the chair a bit, never relinquishing the hand he clings to so desperately.  Doc quietly observes the lawman’s brooding features and waits patiently until he continues his rare soliloquy. "You know, the more I think about it the more I realize, it's her courage that has kept me going all these years. There have been times she had to have the courage for the both of us, cause I just didn't have it."

Doc's eyes narrow as he looks over at the tough US Marshal from Dodge City. He is having trouble imagining Matt without courage until he looks back down at the woman in the bed and he understands his meaning. She is probably the only person in the world that can bring the great Matt Dillon to his knees with nothing more than a smile.

"Every time I leave Dodge, I wonder for just a second if she'll be here when I return." Matt's voice is exhausted by his lengthy vigil by her bedside but the emotion is still there, rich and strong. "I mean she's had so many better offers than mine. I wouldn't blame her for choosing someone else. But every time I come home, there it is, a single lamp burning in an upstairs window just for me."

Utterly despondent, Matt raises red-rimmed, glassy eyes to the old man beside him, unable any longer to contain the tears that had been threatening to spill over for some time. "Doc, if she doesn't make it..."  He can't continue. His heart is incapable of conceiving a world without Kitty Russell in it.

Doc tugs his ear before swiping at a stray tear of his own. He opens his mouth to reply when a scratchy, frail voice emanates from the disheveled, sweat-soaked sheets of the sickbed. "I'll make it, Matt," she breathes.  "I promise, for you, I'll make it."  The sound is music to his ears, but the taste is bittersweet in his mouth.  Why did this have to happen to her?

Matt’s sun-creased eyes widen in wonder at the strength and resilience of this woman who captured his heart so long ago.  He gratefully leans in to whisper in her ear, “I love you, Kitty.”  Brushing his lips against her fevered temple, he murmurs the words again to make sure she hears him, “I love you so much.”  A smile just crinkles the corners of her sapphire eyes as they drift closed once more and deep, healing sleep claims her again.  Matt kisses the small, white hand he cradles and releases a shuddering sigh.  Because Matt knows Kitty Russell has the courage to make it through this, too.

End

ljsmljsmljsml

No comments:

Post a Comment